Yeah… that’s not going to happen.

In the interests of seeing how prepared we are, given that we’re over half way and the ‘baby room’ (aka the spare room, aka Sam’s cave) is still full of crap, I decided to inventory what we have so far. You know, in case I forget why I’m getting fat and don’t buy anything else in the next 4 months. Plus, you know, I’m still earning moneys at the moment.

Basically we’ve picked up bits and pieces here and there, and with the latest round of final FINAL OMG FINAL sales on at the moment (Karen does not buy non-sale clothing), I thought I’d make sure I had enough to fill whatever random ‘essentials’ lists I happened to find on the intarweb. This apparently is called a ‘layette‘. Why? Who the heck knows, I’m just glad I don’t have to sew this stuff.

Initial inventory results suggest that as long as the kid doesn’t need to get around, sleep, go toilet or play with something not a cat or a Wii, we’re sweet.

At least it’ll be dressed.

The clothing inventory wasn’t as sad as I thought it would be. I haven’t overdone it so far, so I don’t feel like some crazy obsessed baby clothes collecting person. The pink’s mostly under control, and there are very few occurrences of frills and no lace. You’d think it’d be easy for me to avoid the overly girly stuff, seeing as how my wardrobe is essentially unadorned neutrals (yes, alright, black), but baby clothes are kinda cute. Tiny and cute. LIKE KITTENS. And we all know how Karen feels about kittens.

In deference to the fact we’re still semi-expecting it to pop out a boy (universe, sense of humour), I’m trying to keep my frilly pink clothes buying urges under control. Except if really really cute frilly pink stuff is on sale. Then all bets are off. Mostly though, we have greens and yellows and whites and browns, and generic animal stuff, and many stripes. One thing I am learning is that boy clothes have a lot more ‘personality’ than girl clothes – where the designers seem to all have been on permanent sugar highs and are unable to think beyond FLOWER BUTTERFLY HEART PRINCESS!1!! None of these things represent trends in clothing I particularly want to pursue. Kittens, bugs, food, ninjas: these are all acceptable alternatives.

Other things that are cool: hats or hoods with ears on.

This hat is awesome.

Things that will never be cool: those stupid stretchy headband things with some lame ruffled flower or bow jammed on top.

DON’T DO THIS. YOUR BABY HAS NO HAIR.

Also not cool: full priced baby clothes. If I think twice about spending $40 on one item of clothing for me, you better believe I won’t be spending it on something that might get worn five times before being outgrown. Still, I have great affection for the people who do buy the expensive stuff, cause then they sell it on Trade Me for much cheaper – meaning tightwads like me don’t have to knit clothes out of pre-loved plastic supermarket bags.

Frankly I think the selection is unnecessarily diverse (jeans aren’t actually that comfortable – comparatively speaking – when you’re a grown up, so why the heck do we think they will be when you’re tiny?!), prices are too high, and everything’s marketed to make you spend more to get the matchy matchy outfits. I’m sure the kid doesn’t care if it has yellow socks and a pink jumper – as long as it’s warm, dry, and nobody’s stuck a pin into it anywhere. Plus! Everything girly is too girly and everything boy-y is too boy-y. *much shaking of the crotchetty old lady fist*

I will end this week’s update with supporting visuals. Here is a picture of me as a bebe, and a picture of Dondon (who is 3 years younger) as a bebe. What do you notice? Aside from the fact I am way too cute? Multipurpose reusable bebe clothing with nary a butterfly or digger in sight! Bring back the days of old I say. Go velour! Go TARTAN!

PS. The alien is still there. It kicked me a good’un the other day and really freaked me out. It’s really not an ‘awwww’ moment – more a ‘holy freakin crap there’s something in me!’ moment. Thus endeth the lesson.