So apparently some people enjoy this pregnancy malarkey. I don’t think I can claim to be one of them. This chick probably can. ->

After spending all Monday digesting the coffee and muffin I had for breakfast, I declared myself completely over it. When 5pm rolls around and you’re still burping up something you ate at 9am, I think you’re probably justified in being a little tetchy. I had to force myself to eat dinner, and I suffered for it, spending the night sleeping (or trying to anyway) sitting up. I didn’t eat anything but a small baked potato on Tuesday and I had the same issue. There’s literally no room for anything else (not even water) and it’s fairly uncomfortable and mildly distressing. In fact the indigestion, coupled with the extreme tiredness and barely diminished back ache, caused me to send myself home to work in an effort to get comfortable and not feel like utter poos for another day.

Oh well. Just add it to the list of stuff nobody tells you about! It did allow me to test the performance of our wireless network though. Works from bed? Check.

This week’s class was second stage labour and interventions. We had someone new leading the class and she was frighteningly energetic. I quite liked the bit where she was feeding a doll through a replica pelvis and yanking it by its head. It was probably wrong of me to hope the head would come off, but I hoped nonetheless! Disappointingly we didn’t get to watch a video of a c-section, but handily I’ve already clicked that link. While I don’t think opting for one is really on the cards, the idea of it doesn’t freak me out – because I am not a loser mcwussington. I really don’t get those chicks who are all SQUEEEEAL oh my gosh it’s so oogy I could never blah blah whatever. Like any part of this process is attractive or pleasant – suck it up and do whatever you have to do, gosh.

Apparently the best way to encourage a natural labour is to avoid having to be induced initially. I won’t dwell on the ’self-help induction techniques’ discussed, but suffice to say it made the guys’ eyes light up and caused more than one girl to remark on how unfair this entire process is to women. Oh, and apparently it’s a bad thing when the class is asked “who loves babies?!” and nobody goes “OO! ME! ME!11!” – or answers at all.

We managed to completely clear out the spare room this week, and have started the process of filling it full of crap again. It’s spawncrap though, and mother and I even managed to clear some items off the list over the weekend. Now the spawn can be cleaned and changed, although it still doesn’t have anywhere to sleep. In the spirit of scientific inquiry, I also got a cheapy thermostat thingy – turns out the spawnroom hovers at around 80-90% humidity. Mmm tropical.

This has been a week of mass spawn wigglage. I don’t know what kind of crazy party it’s throwing in there, but at times it boogies like crazy and it F’n hurts. Things are supposed to get less wiggly from here on in though, as spawn chunks up and there is less room to move. I don’t buy it. I think there’ll just be more of the painful I AM STICKING THIS BIT OUT HERE NOW abuse, and less of the cute tickly stuff.

So obviously not a happy week, but we’re on the home stretch now, which is a pleasant thought. I can’t imagine wanting to do this all again any time soon, but I guess you must forget the annoying bits or there would be slightly less of a population problem at present. I’m sure the next week will be a more positive one – it features a midwife appointment, hoorah!

Bonus photo of me in mah baggypants, because Sunita asked for one. This is in the newly kind of almost clear spare room (currently home to the laundry).